Why I Regret Leaving Japan

My first guest writer! Hehe, thank you so much for always supporting me and motivating me. Please enjoy this one because I'm sure many expats who have lived abroad can relate to this. Let us know in the comments your thoughts! And if you have a similar experience, let us know!

First blog post as a guest author, and it is a heavy one straight off the bat.

I left Japan quite a while ago in search of greener pastures, and as you might be able to guess from the title, this has not turned out so well. I wanted to write this post as a way to process, and maybe as a sort of warning/reality-check for others.

An adventure

Like so many other people, I went to Japan as an adventure. No concrete plans, no specific reasons, just a temporary escape from the monotony, the routine, the tedium. Initially I went there on a working holiday visa with the intention of just staying for half a year, then go back to "reality", but that's not really how things panned out. Instead, I found a job, made friends, found a partner, enjoyed life in this strange and foreign country, and decided to stay longer. And longer. And longer. What started as an adventure, an escape from "reality", soon became the new reality. Without realizing, routine set in. And I think that's where the first cracks started to form.

You see, life in a foreign country is not easy, especially if you are not prepared, are not dedicated, and are not willing to put in the work. I did none of that. I was not prepared, as it was meant as a short getaway, or adventure. I did not put in the work - especially in the Japanese language - because I just couldn't get over the mentality of just being there for a while, then returning back "home". Putting in a lot of effort into hard things like learning a language, ingraining myself in the country, just seemed like a waste, when I could spend my limited time in the country on more enjoyable things. That is wholly on me. I simply could not get over this "holiday mentality".

Worries

As such, I went down the same path as many other foreigners in Japan, the "easy" path, and got stuck in the English teaching world. I did not hate my job - I did not like it either - but it was fine. It was easy, I had great coworkers, I had okay work hours. Salary wasn't good, but it was enough to get by. It was fine. It was comfortable for what it was. But that's the trap. What it is, is a dead-end job with zero stability, that leaves a black hole on your resume. Over time, that knowledge gnaws at you.

For how long can I do this? Where do I go from here? When will it all collapse? What will happen with my visa? What do I do when I leave Japan?

It's questions like this that keep you up at night, and make you look around for other options and opportunities. And that's when you realize, there aren't any. Because you did not put any effort into learning the language. Because English teaching is not a long-term solution, and nobody cares about your "experience" doing it. Once you're in that position, getting out is hard. And the longer you stay in it, the harder it becomes to get out. And that realization, and the continued feeling of being stuck really affected me. No matter how much I tried catching up on language learning over the years, and upskilling on other things, it never seemed enough. I felt too far behind. I constantly felt frustrated, agitated. That is the one side of things that drove me away from Japan - the professional side. But there was more.

Daily frustrations

The quirkiness, the difference of Japan to what I was used to before, things I found fascinating and enjoyed exploring at first, turned more and more frustrating over the years as well. When you stop being in tourist mode, stop seeing only the exciting things of the country, but actually live there and experience all sides of daily life, things appear different. And there were so many things that frustrated me to no end.

Daily racism for example. The constant feeling of not being welcome. It's mostly small things, but they add up over time. And then there are of course the more blatant situations, like being rejected for apartments, bank accounts, credit cards, simply by virtue of being a foreigner. Or that essentially nobody is ever on your side. There is an issue - it is automatically your fault. You need help from building management, or police over a mental neighbour - no chance, they side with the nutcase.

Or the rigidity - when things work, they work fantastic, but as soon as anything unexpected happens, there is zero flexibility, zero accountability, and everything falls apart.

I still enjoyed all the good points of Japan. I still very much had a fantastic time, whenever I could travel, unwind, or simply get away from the daily worries, but overall, the negative seemed to win, and the negative things took their toll. I grew more and more angry, more and more anti-Japan, and I reached the point where I simply needed out.

Leaving

When I couldn't take it anymore, I left. I went back to my home country, trying to build something, but with a lot of uncertainty. My partner and I went long-distance with an unclear future. It was not an easy decision, and it was very nerve-racking. I was unsure whether I was doing the right thing all the way until the end. When selling my things. When closing my accounts. When going to the airport. I had doubts at every step of the way. Was torn between not being able to take it anymore, and the thought of "just a bit more, another year won't kill you". But that would have just meant being stuck for longer. Eventually something would have to change. In that moment a clean break and a new start seemed to be the best change I could think of. And so I went through with leaving Japan.

Doubts

I was never particularly attached to my home country in Europe. It was simply all I knew. I grew up there, went to school there, went to university there, and eventually worked there. It was just normal to me. And the more frustrated I got with life in Japan, the more I started idolizing the idea of "home". How this and that was different, was better. I hyped it up, dwelled on nostalgia, dreamt of how much greener the grass was on the other side. So when I got back to my so-called "home", I was in for a rude awakening. I arrived back, and knew it wouldn't be easy. I was gone for a long time. Not willing, or able to go back to the career path I chose before Japan. Not able, or willing, to continue with the dead-end work of English teaching. So, I had to continue on a new path, something I already started in Japan. I was ready to continue building my skills, and studying my ass off to get ahead, and build something "back home". That was the plan. That was the motivation.

But it did not take long to realize the place I once called home felt wrong. In a lot of ways it had changed, and most definitely not for the better. But in a lot of ways, mostly the negative ways that had always been there, it had stayed the same. I simply never noticed the negatives until I had a comparison point in my life in Japan. Nevertheless, I chalked it up to the very common reverse culture shock at first, but the feeling just wouldn't go away. I would navigate daily life, and would constantly be reminded, that the grass wasn't greener on the other side. In a lot of ways, the grass was burnt. And salted. And covered in trash. I started questioning my decision to leave Japan.

A new normal?

I continued, I studied, I worked hard, and now here we are. I have a nice place to live, with a lot more space than I ever had in the small Japanese apartments I was used to. I have a stable job I'm actually interested in, with upwards mobility, good pay, lots of vacation days, and a fantastic work-life balance. So, professionally, it is a massive upgrade, and worked out just as I had hoped. Night and day difference to Japanese work culture and the ever-present feeling of being stuck in a dead-end job with no future. But you know, work is not all. And as bad as the work situation in Japan was, and as frustrating a lot of the negatives were, day-to-day life was pretty damn great. It was easy. Smooth. Things just worked. And there were so many things to do, experience, and enjoy. Whereas here, at "home", they are not. Quality of life outside of work just took a nosedive.

Cost of living here is completely out of control. And within the span of last year alone, things have doubled, in some regards tripled, with no slowing down in sight. Doesn't matter what I look at, every aspect of life is overpriced. I spend more money on groceries alone, than my entire monthly expenses in Japan combined. Where I would eat out a few times per week in Japan, I never do now. I simply cannot justify spending three or four times the money on something that is not even good. Quality is just way lower than it was in Japan.

Tax burden is ridiculous and simply not justifiable. Pretty much 50% of my salary is gone in taxes, health and social premiums. And in return I get pretty much nothing. Let's just look at health insurance as a comparison. In Japan, I could walk into pretty much any doctor's office, clinic or hospital, and be seen pretty much right away. And the cost would be minimal. Whereas now, it's either waiting months, if not years for appointments, or pay out of pocket. For example, in Japan I just go to the dentist for a checkup and dental hygiene, pay under 3,000Yen, and that's it. Now things look a bit different. Find a dentist that accepts new patients at all. Make an appointment 1-2 years in advance, then pay about 15,000Yen for the same service. OR do it privately. Be seen within "only" a few months, but pay about 40,000Yen for it. Either way, what is the point of this incredibly expensive health insurance if it is unusable.

Public transportation doesn't work. We all know and love Japanese public transport. It is fast, convenient, cheap, and reliable. Here, it is none of those things. Trains and buses come when they want, and if they want. Delays are normal, cancellations are frequent, and getting anywhere takes forever. Cost is way too high for what it is. So essentially, not really a feasible way of transport when it matters. Nothing is done to improve it, but at the same time, cars are demonized and taxed to hell and back. Well, how should one get to places then? The answer is simple - you don't. People pretty much just stay put and do nothing. Life is limited to a very small area. Work, groceries, home. That's what most people do. They go to work, or they are at home/a friend's home drinking. The scale of everything is tiny. And on the weekends when you're off work, everything is closed anyway. Life is very dull as a result. The most exciting thing is to go for a walk or a bicycle ride through your neighbourhood.

Safety. You know the narrative of Japan being so safe, and how in truth it is a bit blown out of proportion? Crime does exist, and it is not as super-safe as the internet wants you to believe. But overall, it is pretty damn safe. People leave wallets or phones on the table at a restaurant or cafe. No worries when walking alone at night. No issues on any public transport in any part of the country, no matter what time of day, no matter how big the city. One pretty much never has to worry about anything. I certainly spent all my years in Japan not seeing a single incident, or crime. Now that's a bit different. And without opening that whole can of worms, and going into politics, the time after 2015 definitely has not helped safety in Central Europe. Violence, gangs, break-ins, robbery, drug trade and stabbings have become the new norm. Any time you go anywhere, a feeling of unease accompanies you. No sane person would go to the train station at night these days.

Regret

So yeah, here I am now. Reminiscing, and comparing life in Japan to life here. Work life, and stability have most certainly been worlds better here compared to Japan. But unfortunately everything else has been so, so much worse. Personally, that trade-off is not worth it. There is more to life than satisfaction at work. Private life is much more important. Which is why I have decided to go back to Japan. Not like last time though. Just rushing back, repeating the very same mistakes of chasing the greener grass without a plan would just end the same way again. Instead I learned from my mistakes. I acknowledge why I left Japan. Acknowledge the problems I had with Japan, and the problems that were my own fault.

I cannot change the problems that are not my own fault, but I can compare them to the problems I have right now in my home country, and suddenly they don't seem so bad anymore. But I most definitely can change the problems that were my own fault. Gain more relevant experience in my current job position, to then leverage that to get a better job in Japan. Study Japanese. Get over the mentality of it being only temporary, and thus a waste. It is not a waste. It is essential. Especially now that I know Japan is not temporary, but is my true "home".